I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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