Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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