when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
