no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
