idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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