I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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