What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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