i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
