There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
