My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
