If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
