I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
