I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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