THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You are a genius and a whore.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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