:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
