I'm laying in your front yard are you home
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
