I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
