at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize