Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
