It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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