I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
