maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
