i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize