Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
