i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
