You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
