you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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