she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
