Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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