i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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