just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
