Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
In other news, I just burned my penis
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
