At least make sure they are 18
Why
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
