So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
