after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize