Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
