So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
