i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
