Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
