I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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