i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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