Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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