I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
