96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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