fuck your aforementioned shoe
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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