Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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