when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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