My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
