You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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