Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
