that's an acceptable place to lick
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
