it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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