the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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