No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
