then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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