He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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