You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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