I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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