if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i think my cat just said my name.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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