I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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