Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
