you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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